Every year, I write Jake a long-winded letter about how much I love him blah blah blah, how we're so lucky lalala and all that mushy, sweet stuff that love letters are made of. I usually sign it off with a cute doodle or a lavish presentation with the seal and envelope. Yeah.
This year, I attempted to write another one of my letters when I found myself stuck at the Dear Jake part. I couldn't summon my usual litany of words that would express how I currently feel or how much I love him. Lord knows I attempted to plagiarize myself with my usual phrases but I found myself cringing at the words. They're too...mushy. Jake and I have changed a lot in our four years together and I've noticed that we've become less mushy and sweet--with the occasional sweet nothings, and we're now venturing towards the stable couple with the occasional bursts of immaturity. And so, off the top of my head:
I love how I can rely on him to be there for me and how we trust each other more than ever without appearing like a lovesick couple who can't get enough of each other. I love how I can treat him like one of the girls and how he treats me like one of the guys without alienating our friends. I love how we're each other's perfect shopping buddy without me worrying if he'll judge me for my choices or vice versa. I love how we always bump knuckles like boys whenever we agree or need to reassure each other without feeling like we have to kiss or hug instead. I love how we've always called each other by our names and still feel sweet without having pet names or terms of endearment. I love how we can wrap a day up with a five-minute phone call or just ym/text the whole day without feeling the need to talk on the phone for hours. I love how I can tell him, with no hesitation, absolutely everything in any manner I see fit without worrying about what he'll think about me or if I'll turn him off. I love how we support each other's choices and goals without thinking about our own interests first. I love how we can fight about the small things and argue about the big things without fearing that we'll break up. I love how we're so used to each other without worrying about being taken for granted. I love how we've merged our interests and acquired new tastes together without feeling dependent on each other. I love how we can have comfortable silences or intense noisy discussions without the risk of misunderstanding each other.
I have so many more things on my mind that I can go on and on about but I'll save that for the next time I need to write a letter. I love you, Jake. Happy four years fool!
wearing tee and sailor shorts from Zara, Aldo anchor necklace
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